Uncategorized
“Men of God Men of War” Memoir Published Today
It’s been almost seven years since I posted on here. Since then my family moved to Cumberland, Maine, to the town I grew up in. I started a hand-hewing business, turning logs into beams using only an axe. The work is therapeutic for me–nature is healing. We attended a local community church, which, during the […]
A Cure for Legalism: The Gift of Incapability
Is grace just a cruel joke? For those of us from fundamentalistic or spiritually-abusive backgrounds, obedience to God’s commands can feel like a painful impossibility. Our old way of trying to obey God’s commands didn’t work, and we haven’t figured out a new way to please him. How do we reconcile the grace of God […]
Book Review of “Broken Trust” by F. Remy Diederich
Editor’s Note: I rarely endorse books. This is an exception. Remy sent me an earlier draft of his book and requested feedback. I made some edits, but mostly I just rejoiced that he had written such a book. I believe it is the most helpful resource about spiritual abuse that has yet been written. The […]
Spiritual Abuse Recovery: Learning to Risk
I, like many survivors of spiritually abusive churches or cults, experience trust issues and am generally risk-averse. I have become so good at saying “no” to people and opportunities that I have almost forgotten what it is like to say “yes.” It is easier to hunker down in my tightly-controlled routine than to risk getting […]
Truth Without Grace Is Dead
Yesterday I read a bristling article by a Christian blogger/journalist/news figure who proclaimed himself a “professional truth-teller.” He gleefully excoriated another Christian writer as likes and loves poured into his site. Listen. If a Twitter handle or author bio includes the phrase “professional truth-teller” there is a good chance they are not. When truth–and we’re […]
Breaking the Chains of Legalistic Parenting
Parenting proves challenging in the best of circumstances. Even the healthiest, most well-adjusted parent faces crises of doubt, exhaustion, and failure. But most of us aren’t completely healthy, are we? Most of us carry baggage from our own imperfect childhoods, adolescent traumas, and adult heartaches. And for those of us who grew up in rule-based […]
The Gift of Ordinary Things
When I was young I read books that made missionary life look sexy. I read spiritual biographies of well-known Christian martyrs which made them seem six inches taller and without body odor. Like popular kids at school, these saints inhabited my dreams and haunted my ambitions. I affected their manner of speech and read books […]
Five Lessons from The Village Church and Karen Hinkley
Several readers have asked me to comment on the recent situation involving The Village Church in Dallas and how it has placed Karen Hinkley under church discipline. Karen’s husband, Jordan Root, admitted to viewing child pornography over ten years, most recently as a missionary with SIM. Karen took steps to annul her marriage to Jordan […]
30 Signs of Legalism: A Checklist
The average legalist does not know that he or she is legalistic. I didn’t. I thought I was just following God’s Word. I didn’t think I was a Pharisee; I thought I was righteous. Legalism is rightly considered a disease in the church, but most of its sufferers mistake its symptoms for holiness. They think […]
When Your Abusive Pastor Dies
When you hear that your abusive former pastor is dead, the news will not bring you peace and it is unlikely to bring you joy. I am unhappy to say this but it’s true nevertheless and so there it is. What was broken in life cannot be mended by death. Death has no power to […]
Liberty for Captives 