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Recovering from Spiritual Abuse: Fearing the Good
“What would you do if you had no fear? Sometimes we think we are driven by our wants — when too often we are driven by our fears.” – Ann Voskamp I started flossing again. For the last couple of years it’s been hit or miss, mostly because I had a visceral reaction to the […]
12 Things God Doesn’t Do
The most devastating consequence of spiritual abuse is a marred image of God. If your church or pastor practices spiritual abuse, chances are that your view of God is filtered through twisted scriptures and an untrue characterization of what God is like. In these situations, your view of God probably looks a lot like how […]
Seven Signs You’re in a Cult
A June 18 article published in The Atlantic — “The Seven Signs You’re in a Cult” — helps to illustrate symptoms of cult behavior. It is well-written and accurately portrays the codependency and progressive extremism of cults. Here are eight reasons why I think this article is worth your time: It portrays well the narcissism and […]
8 Ways to Distinguish Gossip from Criticism
Recent news reports about Christian leaders have raised an interesting debate: what is gossip, and what is legitimate criticism or concern? Does a Christian leader have the right to fire employees over what he or she considers gossip? And what about all the cult leaders or spiritually abusive leaders who define any criticism of their […]
Top 12 Blog Posts
Two years ago I started this blog in order to confront spiritual abuse with grace and truth. I wasn’t sure there was anyone outside of my immediate family and a small circle of friends who would read the posts. I wasn’t sure how wide the problem was. Two years later, I understand better that spiritual […]
Mind Games of Abusers: When Words Have No Meaning
If you dialogue with a spiritually abusive leader or cult member, prepare to enter a mind warp. The rules of sense, reason, and accepted definitions go out the window and are replaced with jargon, double-speak, and circular logic. You step out of reality and stare into a funhouse mirror. Cult leaders make pronouncements which they […]
My Pastor Can Beat Up Your Pastor: Alpha Dogs and the Cult of Christian Personality
Let me introduce you to four men who want to lead you to God. Leandro Leandro stood big and rangy in the hallway, a couple inches over six feet with sweet tats, huge biceps, and slicked-back hair. Because of this, I and the guys around me nodded when he said, “Hey, let’s make our own […]
Checklist: 55 Attributes of a Spiritually Abusive Leader
To recognize a spiritually abusive leader, first we have to define spiritual abuse. Jeff VanVonderen, co-author of the classic book The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, defines spiritual abuse like this: “Spiritual abuse occurs when someone in a position of spiritual authority–the purpose of which is to ‘come underneath’ and serve, build, equip and make God’s […]
Frankenstein Faith: Misuse of the Old Testament (Part 5 of 10)
In the late 1990s I attended a running camp for two summers in the mountains of New Hampshire. The camp had a lake, cabins, and was surrounded by thick piney woods. Built into a natural plateau was a field. We used it for ice breakers, cabin competitions, and Ultimate Frisbee. Trees ringed the field. The […]
Review of “Girl at the End of the World”
Girl at the End of the World by Elisabeth Esther. Convergent Books, 2014. 224 pp. Elisabeth has written a poignant memoir, one that will likely ring true with many other survivors of fundamentalist cults. Elisabeth’s grandfather started a group called “The Assembly,” and her parents served as leaders.The book title comes from The Assembly’s focus […]
Liberty for Captives 