Tag Archive | Spiritual abuse
A Cure for Legalism: The Gift of Incapability
Is grace just a cruel joke? For those of us from fundamentalistic or spiritually-abusive backgrounds, obedience to God’s commands can feel like a painful impossibility. Our old way of trying to obey God’s commands didn’t work, and we haven’t figured out a new way to please him. How do we reconcile the grace of God […]
Book Review of “Broken Trust” by F. Remy Diederich
Editor’s Note: I rarely endorse books. This is an exception. Remy sent me an earlier draft of his book and requested feedback. I made some edits, but mostly I just rejoiced that he had written such a book. I believe it is the most helpful resource about spiritual abuse that has yet been written. The […]
Breaking the Chains of Legalistic Parenting
Parenting proves challenging in the best of circumstances. Even the healthiest, most well-adjusted parent faces crises of doubt, exhaustion, and failure. But most of us aren’t completely healthy, are we? Most of us carry baggage from our own imperfect childhoods, adolescent traumas, and adult heartaches. And for those of us who grew up in rule-based […]
Five Lessons from The Village Church and Karen Hinkley
Several readers have asked me to comment on the recent situation involving The Village Church in Dallas and how it has placed Karen Hinkley under church discipline. Karen’s husband, Jordan Root, admitted to viewing child pornography over ten years, most recently as a missionary with SIM. Karen took steps to annul her marriage to Jordan […]
30 Signs of Legalism: A Checklist
The average legalist does not know that he or she is legalistic. I didn’t. I thought I was just following God’s Word. I didn’t think I was a Pharisee; I thought I was righteous. Legalism is rightly considered a disease in the church, but most of its sufferers mistake its symptoms for holiness. They think […]
When Your Abusive Pastor Dies
When you hear that your abusive former pastor is dead, the news will not bring you peace and it is unlikely to bring you joy. I am unhappy to say this but it’s true nevertheless and so there it is. What was broken in life cannot be mended by death. Death has no power to […]
Recovering from Spiritual Abuse: Fearing the Good
“What would you do if you had no fear? Sometimes we think we are driven by our wants — when too often we are driven by our fears.” – Ann Voskamp I started flossing again. For the last couple of years it’s been hit or miss, mostly because I had a visceral reaction to the […]
12 Things God Doesn’t Do
The most devastating consequence of spiritual abuse is a marred image of God. If your church or pastor practices spiritual abuse, chances are that your view of God is filtered through twisted scriptures and an untrue characterization of what God is like. In these situations, your view of God probably looks a lot like how […]
Seven Signs You’re in a Cult
A June 18 article published in The Atlantic — “The Seven Signs You’re in a Cult” — helps to illustrate symptoms of cult behavior. It is well-written and accurately portrays the codependency and progressive extremism of cults. Here are eight reasons why I think this article is worth your time: It portrays well the narcissism and […]
8 Ways to Distinguish Gossip from Criticism
Recent news reports about Christian leaders have raised an interesting debate: what is gossip, and what is legitimate criticism or concern? Does a Christian leader have the right to fire employees over what he or she considers gossip? And what about all the cult leaders or spiritually abusive leaders who define any criticism of their […]
Liberty for Captives 